Saturday, August 21, 2010

Beer Commercials

Beer commercials are just funny. They are! They usually imply that there are dumb beer-drinkers and smart beer-drinkers, but really, doesn't drinking beer really kind of level that playing field?

Beer commercials that imply that anyone drinking beer is concerned about his caloric intake are just lame. You don't drink beer as part of a heart-healthy diet, for cryin' out loud; you drink it so you can be social, witty, and oh-so-clever. Just because you usually end up behaving like a jackass doesn't mean that's where you intended to go when you began your journey. I'm just sayin'.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Commercials - WHY?

Why are commercials so condescending? Why can't the dads and the kids in commercials: take their own medicine, wash their own clothes, or cook their own food without making the kitchen look like Hiroshima after the bomb?

If I were a woman I would be offended that most ad-makers think we are Dr. Mom, Maytag Mom, Dentist Mom, Chauffeur Mom, etc. etc. etc.

As a man, I am offended that ad-makers think I am so stupid, uninformed, callous, lazy, clumsy, and so ignorant that I cannot take care of myself and my own adult needs.

I'm just sayin'.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

What the heck is a vacation?

To cite Merriam-Webster (and who doesn't), the word "vacation" means:

1) a respite or a time of respite from something;
2) a scheduled period during which activity is suspended;
a period of exemption from work granted to an employee;
3) a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation.

There is nothing in the dictionary I own that says anything about being constantly in contact - during one's vacation - with one's work environment by telephone, computer, cell phone, email, or pager. I have come to believe that Americans do not understand the concept of vacation, and don't therefore appreciate what can be gained by having one.

Let me elaborate. Of what use is a computer or cell phone or pager if you are lying on a beach hundreds (even thousands) of miles from your actual office? If something comes up that requires your attention, is it really so immediate and crucial that someone else in your office cannot handle it? If so, you really need to do some training and learn how to delegate or else work harder before you go on vacation so situations like these don't come up.

I can testify from personal experience that no one on a beach or in a seaside restaurant is the least bit interested in hearing second-hand about some crisis at your workplace.

It also baffles me that people seem to feel the need to connect (while on vacation) with every family member and friend they know. I've never figured out whether they are really that insecure, they are afraid they'll miss something, or they truly enjoy being indispensable (translation: an enabler).

So come on, folks, let's really chill out. Let's give ourselves permission to truly go on vacation. Leave the electronics at home or in the hotel safe, do a little basking on a beach or hiking across a mountain, and really truly "get away from it all". That's a real vacation.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Is it blogging or mental diarrhea?

Since I began this blog and began following other bloggers, I began to wonder what makes any blogger (including me...maybe especially me) think that other folks (bloggers or non-bloggers) are interested in the stream-of-consciousness b**ls**t that appears on our blogs. The only answer I could come up with is morbid fascination with the grotesque. In much the same way that drivers slow down to absorb all the grisly scenes of car wrecks, we read others' blogs, hoping to catch them in in some egregious mistake, misspelling, or misapprehension. It makes us feel better to think our blogs are better than their blogs. Other than that superficial connection, we don't really want to know the other bloggers better, just their errors, which we can point out with great enthusiasm and smug superiority.
Isn't this right?

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Y R Werds Speld So Stoopid?

Some people have brains that grasp math concepts, others are experts in science, geography, languages. I know numbers. Numbers are a language to me, and it is one in which I am fluent.

What I DON'T get is English. Words are spelled in ways that defy all human understanding. Hooked on Phonics would be fine if words were spelled phonetically, but as we all learned in 7th grade English class, they simply aren't! It is baffling.

I love doing crossword puzzles because I usually get the clues and know the answers, but how can I be successful at this or any other word game (e.g., Scrabble, Boggle, etc.) when I can't spell?

If, when I ask how something is spelled, one more person tells me to look it up in the dictionary, I won't be responsible for what I do. Look it up....can't spell something, so look it up in a book that requires you to already know how to spell it....DUH! Hello?????????????????????? Anyone but me see the oxymoronicity of that?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Fishing makes me smarter

Fishing is an interesting.......activity. I'd call it a sport, but any sport that involves a jerk on one end of a pole waiting for a jerk on the other end can hardly qualify.

One thing fishing does, though, is help me focus. Ideas for novels and how to promote them seem to come much more quickly and clearly when I'm doing things that make it impossible to write them down: showering, brushing my teeth, driving, and most especially fishing. I've considered taking along a pocket recorder so that I don't lose any of these brilliant thoughts, but I know if I were fishing, it would quickly end up in the drink.

I've tried repeating key words over and over until I can get to a pen and paper, but then I'll feel a tug on the end of my line, and suddenly I'm not trying out new ad captions in my head, I'm feeding the fish! And when I actually catch one, even if it's far too small to keep, I feel like Alexander the Great conquering the Himalayas on elephants.

So, even if you're squeamish about worms or crickets, you can use fake bait and fish, fish, fish till the cows come home.

Has anyone ever figured out what time cows do come home????????????????????????

Sunday, July 25, 2010


The following are buzzwords I loathe and would be very happy if I never heard again:

at the end of the day (unless you mean 11:59 p.m., stop using this!)
buy-in (unless you are purchasing a part ownership in a business, cut it out!)
out of pocket (unless you are taking something literally out of your pocket, or you are paying for something out of that pocket. it is NOT correct to say "I'll be out of pocket." if you really mean "I'll be out of the office" or "I'll be out of contact".
synergy (self-explanatory)

These, among so many others, used repeatedly and incorrectly in the business domain, drive me absolutely NUTS!

Do you have "favorite buzzwords" you loathe? Let me know!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Ebook sales!

I am very proud to report that my ebook is selling! For any of you who have purchased it from the Kindle Store on Amazon, a warm and heart-felt THANK YOU. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

If you haven't yet read it, and you are interested in doing so, check out my web page at or go to for an excerpt, reviews, more info or to order for only $.99!

Again, thanks for following my blog, checking out my web site, and reading a preview of my book!


Saturday, July 17, 2010

Things I Don't Get

I don't get commercials. Especially the one for Cialis that shows a man and a woman in separate bathtubs. What the heck does that have to do with having sex? I mean, maybe if they were in the same bathtub, but........

I don't get the fashion trend for young men to wear their pants with the crotch hanging down around their ankles. They have to hold them up all the time just to walk. I hope they are never in a burning building...they couldn't run!

I don't get the Weather Channel. Millions...maybe billions in technology and equipment, and they still don't get the weather right more than half the time.

I don't get scissors that are either right-handed or left-handed. Wouldn't it be more efficient if they just made a pair that were ambidextrous-handed?

I don't get how so many mediocre writers have so many published books!

And, among many other things, I don't get how people can't spell! I mean, when I think of a word, the image of the word and how it's spelled just pops into my head. Why can't everyone do that?

Friday, July 2, 2010

Learning as I go

Because I am still new to the blogging process, I welcome any suggestions, comments, shortcuts, advice, etc. you have to give. I'm also experimenting with the page design. Feel free to offer constructive criticism about the design I have chosen, the layout, and the comment. Please post comments to my blog, but I also welcome emails at


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Check Me Out!

If you love a good read (and who doesn't?), check out an excerpt from my new ebook, A SPY AT HOME, on my web page - I know you'll enjoy the book, and you can purchase and download it from the Kindle Store on

Here's a teaser blurb:

When Dad becomes the lone caregiver for a dependent adult son, Dad has to answer the terrifying question: What happens if I die first?

A retired CIA operative comes to believe he wasted his professional life not only promoting questionable American policies, but missing life with his family. After his wife dies in a tragic accident, he must learn all that she knew about caring for their mentally retarded son. After a life of planning for contingencies, the former spy must deal with the possibility that he may die before his son. Who will care for the son when the dad spent a life out of the country and now has no one to lean on?

Constructive criticism or a book review is always welcome, and you can also email me at for more info on the book.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Blogging novice

I am really, really new to blogging, and I am delighted to have the opportunity to learn communication in this way. The Reader's Digest Condensed version of what I'm up to right now is learning new skills so that I can promote my new ebook, A Spy At Home. You can see an excerpt from my novel, and order it for download to your reader, PC, iPOD, iPhone, iPAD, or Blackberry from in the Kindle Books Store.

I am eager to see how blogging sparks my own creativity, and I would like to invite you to share your thoughts on my book, A Spy At Home, once you've read it (constructive criticism is always welcome).