Monday, August 29, 2011

Down Syndrome and Public Perception

Blogaholic Designs”=
So many times in my journey as the parent of a child with Down syndrome (now 38 years old),l I have heard people say, "Oh, kids with Down syndrome are so affectionate and loving and want to hug people all the time....." etc. I am here to tell you that classifying all people with Down as "affectionate and loving" is nearly the same thing as saying all blacks love fried chicken and watermelon. It's preposterous.

People with Down syndrome have one thing in common - an extra chromosome on their 21st pair. That's pretty much it. Oh, they have similar features, but as to their personalities and behavior, they are as different as people without special needs are.

My daughter is a wonderful, intelligent, funny, confident adult. She is NOT publicly affectionate, and she really considers her personal space her own. If you met her, she would certainly NOT come up and hug you. As a matter of fact, she has a great deal of respect for other people's personal space as well. I'm not saying she doesn't love some people - she certainly does love her family and friends. But don't expect her to love you automatically just because she has an extra chromosome. It ain't gonna happen. You have to earn her love and respect, just as you would if she didn't have Down. If would not be any more appropriate for you to hug her than it would be for you to hug any stranger upon meeting them, and you certainly shouldn't expect a hug from her any more than you would from any other stranger. After I married her mother in 1999, it took a year for her to feel comfortable enough with me to hug me goodnight!

And so, a word to the wise, as I'm sure any other parent of a child or adult with Down would tell you - they are so much more like "us" than like each other. Don't assume anything about people with Down that you wouldn't assume with "us".

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A SPY AT HOME - Latest 5-Star Amazon Review!

Blogaholic Designs”=Thrilling, Heart Wrenching, Suspense Adventure!, August 21, 2011


By Tom McGee "Tom" (Springfield, IL USA) - See all my reviews

(VINE VOICE) This review is from: A SPY AT HOME (Kindle Edition)

Joseph Rinaldo contacted me not long ago and asked me if I would be willing to read and review his book, A Spy at Home. I received the manuscript and began reading it yesterday.

I had to force myself to put it down last night in favor of sleep; however, I thought about it all night long and jumped up early this morning and finished it before breakfast.

Rinaldo knows how to grab and keep readers interested on a variety of levels. Although he kept me on the edge of my chair rapidly flipping dangerously exciting pages that included agencies like the CIA, FBI, NSA, a District Attorney's Office, as well as cyber hackers, this book is not a typical spy novel. It is also a love story that deals with death, adoption and the heart wrenching affects of Down syndrome and Alzheimer's.

Following a severe reaction to a bites from a swarm of mosquitoes, Garrison, a CIA operative, is treated in a secret CIA hospital by his future wife, Louisa.

Some years after their marriage, they notice a fire in a trailers house near their home occupied by a drug addict mother who died in the fire. Her Down's syndrome baby, Noah Kendrick, survived.

With the help of red tape cutting, Clarita Johnson, from the state adoption agency Garrison and Louisa adopted Noah after he was abondoned by his low-life relatives.

With Garrison away on dangerous CIA missions, Louisa was Noah's primary care taker until Garrison retired from the CIA after 20 years service.

Undetected, Garrison stole and diverted to Swiss Bank Accounts, nearly all of 10 million CIA dollars intended for use by African rebels on a mission to dispose of a dictator not friendly with the United States.

Pressure mounts as Garrison's focus on CIA missions diminshes as he stuggles with his son's dehabilitating condition, fears he or his family will be killed by hit men and worries about what to do with the loot without getting caught.

The story is told by Garrison, to be released following his death.

I recommend this novel to those who enjoy fast moving and thrilling suspense adventures.
I can hardly believe this book costs less than two dollars as a Kindle download!

This was my first exposure to Joseph Rinaldo, but it will not be my last. I look forward to the next episode of this haunting story. Enjoy!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Monday, August 8, 2011

The UP Side of Down Syndrome

Blogaholic Designs”=So, I said on my profile and later in my blog that I would try to educate the reader about all things Down syndrome, and so here I am trying to do so. First of all, Down syndrome is a form of mental retardation that is associated with an extra chromosome on the 21st pair. In other words, instead of two, there are three; thus, Down syndrome is also called Trisomy 21. The degree of mental retardation among this population varies widely, and abilities also vary. Much of what these children and adults accomplish depends on how early intervention and developmental learning is begun.

Though my uncle has Down syndrome, I did not know him very well; when I married my now-wife, she had a daughter with Down who was (at that time) 26 - now 38. Becoming a stepfather to a grown daughter is challenging; becoming a stepfather to an adult daughter with Down syndrome who still lives with her mother was more than challenging. I am very pleased to say that over the past 12 years we have made it work, and she and I are very close and get along about as well as any father and daughter! I've made adjustments in my expectations, and she has worked very hard to get over her jealousy of my spending time with her mom (they were alone without a "dad" in the house for 20 years before I came along).

My daughter is bright, social, determined, and very active. She participates in many Special Olympics events, works as a volunteer for a nonprofit organization, is involved in a Best Buddies program at Vanderbilt University, reads and loves music, and exercises every day. She has no major health problems, though many people with Down syndrome do. We are very fortunate. She works word search puzzles, and she is so good at them that she can finish a whole book of them in no time flat. She is interested in everything, is very self-sufficient, and contributes a great deal to the household.

We are members of the Down Syndrome Association of Middle Tennessee (for which all three of us volunteer and participate in fundraisers), and I am a member of a local D.A.D.S. (Dads Appreciating Down Syndrome) group. Being a parent to a child/adult with Down syndrome presents some unique challenges, but I would not change her or our family for the world.

Like most people with a disability, my daughter is more like "typical" (we don't use the word "normal" - who among us could claim to be normal, and in fact, what does normal mean?) people than unlike them, and I just wanted all my blog readers to know how proud I am to be her DAD.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Patriot or Traitor?

Blogaholic Designs”=What if you worked for a corrupt government? What if you were the channel through which millions were funneled to support illegal coups in other countries that would benefit your employer? What if you had the opportunity to "divert" some of that wealth into your own pocket with absolutely no risk to yourself or your family? What if you retired from your job as a spy and came home to discover that because of your long and frequent absences, your wife resented you and your disabled son barely knew you? What if you accidentally killed your wife and then had to learn how to take care of your son as he slowly fell victim to the ravages of Alzheimer's disease?

What would you do? How would you cope? How would you get closer to a son that was slipping away from you? How would you provide for his needs in the event that you died before he did? Who would take care of him if you were gone?

Garrison deals with all these critical issues and more in A SPY AT HOME, my ebook available on Amazon for only $1.99. He works for the CIA, but becomes disenchanted when he discovers just how little his employer provides for the families of agents killed in the line of duty. He is fed up with the corruption and graft, and he decides to get out...taking some of the "dirty" money with him. His family can now live in the lap of luxury...or can they?

What happens next?

Monday, August 1, 2011

Blogging: How Do You Keep It Fresh?

Blogaholic Designs”=As I "work" the internet to promote my ebook, A SPY AT HOME (available on Amazon for only $1.99), I see the hard work other bloggers do to keep up with those who follow them. It's amazing to me. When do they find the time? I have a full-time job and a family, and between that and promoting my ebook, revising the next one I will release - HAZARDOUS CHOICES - and trying to keep up with such things as yard work, etc. around the house, I'm exhausted!

Blogging is interesting. It can either be much like having a conversation with yourself, or it can be like talking to a (admittedly absent) friend. Sometimes the comments I post draw responses - occasionally heated ones - but other times the blog posts just lie there. I am not sure how a blogger draws the interest of blog-readers, and I would be very interested to know how some of the more successful bloggers keep readers tuned in to their blogs day after day.

If you are a successful blogger, please offer me some suggestions for keeping my blog fresh and alive. I'd appreciate it!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

What Do Books Mean To You?

Blogaholic Designs”=I can't remember a time in my life when reading wasn't important to me. My family are all readers, and it always surprises me when someone tells me that they don't read much. I even know one person who not only has never been to a library, but who admits they have never read a book all the way through. I was so shocked by this, I was speechless (and if you knew me, you'd know how rare this is!).

Reading for information is important, but in my life, reading is most often pure escapism. Traveling to other lands, through other peoples' lives, into other realities is a way to take a mini-vacation from my own challenges. It's easy to get lost in stories and forget about the day-to-day trials and tribulations of real life. As you go deeper and deeper into someone else's universe, suddenly the importance of your broken lawn mower, long hours at work, and too-crowded schedule begins to fade away. At least for a while. Minutes, even hours, can pass free from worry and stress.

So, I challenge you, blog readers, to pick up a book or turn on your ereader. Lose yourself in a book; it can be the best therapy - and it's certainly cheaper than a shrink!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A SPY A HOME - New Review!

Blogaholic Designs”=REINVENTING ME. A New Life. New Experiences.


A SPY AT HOME – Book Review by Chris Nash

Try to put yourself in the position of a retired CIA operative, returning home to his wife and son with Down syndrome (resulting in early-onset Alzheimer's), endeavoring to do his best to look after them and ensure they are provided for. Now, just to make things a little more difficult, imagine our retired spy has managed to embezzle a little under ten million dollars from his employer. Such is the premise of A Spy at Home, the first novel by Joseph Rinaldo, already published as an eBook. Mr. Rinaldo explains how he is uniquely qualified to write this book, raising a daughter with Down syndrome and witnessing the effect of Alzheimer's on a family member, and indeed cryptically states that he'd prefer not to disclose the sources of his espionage-related knowledge. This intriguing combination of plot and story sounded unique and intriguing to me, so I happily accepted the author's offer to write a review.

The juxtaposition of a "tough guy" job with the emotional concerns attached with mental disability made me immediately think of Regarding Henry, penned by writer J. J. Abrams in a dim and distant era long before Lost. It's not a common combination of subjects, and surely presents the author with some difficult challenges. The author deals with these issues very well by writing the book as our retired operative's memoirs, only to be released to be read in the event of his death. In the preface, the narrator tells us that, yes, he is dead; yes, his son was a surprise; and yes, he's the one that killed his own wife. With those revelations out of the way, the book proceeds in whydunnit style, with the narrator telling us about events as and when he remembers them, indeed apologizing for his lack of strict chronology very early in the book. It's a very stark contrast between the strict mental conditioning required for his day job, and the day-to-day stresses and strains of looking after his son, whose welfare becomes more and more of a challenge as their lives go on.

The book does not go in for large amounts of descriptive passages; it is indeed intended as a memoir rather than a flowery novel, which can at times leave a very dry delivery but does, for the most part, definitely give a realistic feel and a feeling that perhaps some of the events reported have their basis in fact, written precisely as our narrator would report them, grappling with his own emotional detachment due to his job. This does result in a couple of areas where things are ambiguous; for example, it is apparent that some time passes through the story as the child Noah grows up, gets a job and goes to work, although I never quite felt sure exactly how old he was. Likewise, exactly when the story takes place seems a little unclear, although it is evidently in a near present due to the computer hackers that form an integral part of the espionage side of the story. That part of the story was also delivered in a gritty way - there was no attempt to picture the spy business as anything glamorous as in the movies, rather a day job whose employees have the same concerns as most of us, such as whether their families are eligible for benefits. The lack of description does make it a little difficult to feel for the characters; we only get to experience their situation. There are a couple of inclusions in the book which I felt did detract from the overall story. There are a few very awkward sex scenes; nothing particularly explicit, but extremely clumsy and they do not add anything to the tale - excluding them would have left the book accessible to a young teen audience which would be just as interested in the novel's parallel subjects. There are a couple of places as well where I feel the author slipped out of character for a moment and managed to let his own political viewpoint slip out, albeit briefly. I can't help feeling it is a line an editor would have removed before going to press. Overall, the writing and copy seemed good with only a couple of minor errors. At the time of writing, the book is available in Kindle format for $1.99 on amazon.com. These days, I feel it's difficult for authors to get the pricing right for novels published digitally; far too many fall into the trap of practically giving their works away and underselling their hard work. For the reader, however, this is surely a bargain.

The book does indeed raise some difficult ethical questions; we find ourselves wondering whether any amount of money would make a difference in this situation, and we are sympathizing very much with a father who, while he may be used to overthrowing foreign regimes and all sorts of covert operations, finds it ever more difficult to look after a son who recognizes him less and less and is constantly worried exactly how he will be cared for once the father passes on. Watching the story unfold as one tragedy follows another, all against the backdrop of possible discovery of the theft of the money and trying to find ways to put the money to work without raising suspicions, one feels the greatest sympathy for the characters, although curiously it is not so much for Noah and his condition, but for his father, for whom no amount of training could prepare him for the trials and tribulations he is to face as a spy, at home. It's a good story whose major strength to me is the realism of the characters dealing with very real lives without expecting the plot to magically resolve itself in the closing chapters. Mr. Rinaldo's own experiences evidently do show through in the writing here.

Joseph Rinaldo currently lives in Nashville, Tennessee. From this most American of cities he writes about the internal turmoil in the CIA, and about pirates on beautiful family-filled lakes. You've probably heard that authors write what they know. Think it's true?

A Spy at Home is available from Amazon.com in eBook format for Kindle and compatible book readers.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Down Syndrome and D.A.D.S.

Blogaholic Designs”=If you are a dad, and your child has Down syndrome, you should check out D.A.D.S. (that is Dads Appreciating Down Syndrome). The national organization's web site is located at http://www.dadsnational.org/. D.A.D.S. is a wonderful organization made up of fathers with children who just happen to have Down syndrome. Locally, our group meets once a month to talk about our kids and to support each other and compare notes and generally just to have a connection with other dads who are living our experiences.

Each child or adult with Down is different, even though they share many characteristics. Apart from similarities in appearance, they may be as different as night and day. Some may be shy, some outgoing; some may be verbal, some use sign; some may participate in sports, some are couch potatoes - wow, sounds just like typical kids and adults, huh?

John Goodrich writes a wonderful blog about D.A.D.S., and you can read his comments and link to the national organization at http://www.dadsnational.org/blog/. There are other links there as well, and if you visit the site, you are encouraged to participate in an existing chapter or start a chapter where you are. Speaking of a proud dad of a young woman with Down, I can tell you that this organization is well worth checking out!

Get on board, dads! Check out D.A.D.S.